The DDFL prides itself on impartiality, as such the commissioner has brought in experienced draft analyst Chaz Stormy to see how each team measures up going into the season.
About the author:
Chaz Stormy is a renowned fantasy football analyst with a PhD in statistics and other things from the Gridiron University. He currently is a freelance writer and full time blogger. His blog Fantasy Football & Boxed Wine is the preeminent Franzia related blog. Can be bribed to give better grades with pictures of your feet.
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Grades are based on expected points* vs draft slot, then multiplied by the value of each draft pick to make higher draft picks more impactful to overall score. K's and DST are not considered. One downside is that it doesn't take roster composition into consideration so teams are not punished for taking, for example, two QBs.
This is the first year that GARF has be de-throned at the top of the draft grades, but everyone looking at Triss' draft could immediately see that she is a force to be reckon with this year. The only regret that Triss may have is not being able to draft a punter in order to punt the dick and balls right off her lovely womanly body. (PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I WAS TOLD IT WAS OKAY)
tTriss obviously has the strongest RB corps in the league with Derrick Henry, Alvin Kamara, and Saquon Barkley. She's in a great position even if one goes down to suspension or Alvin Kamara decides to sucker punch a barista from Starbucks for messing with his Caramel Macchiato. Although it might not end up being impactful the pick of Mecole Hardman was Triss highest value. Hardman provides excellent upside in a murky KC WR corps. Although Scary Terry is in the upper echelon of talented WR in the league he has Carson Wentz throwing to him, who often makes it look like he is trying to throw a used condom into a headwind rather than a football. Best Pick - Mecole Hardman, WR KC - 97%
Worst pick - Terry McLaurin WR WAS - 26% |
The former 2 time DDFL Champ and runner up in 2021 is back with a vengeance and his draft is a statement to the rest of the league. Chase's draft struggled in the early rounds but was ballooned by avoiding costly mistakes and getting a lot of high value in later rounds.
A well rounded starting roster, but possibly THE best depth in the league with a lot of players on the bench that could easily end the season at the top 20 at their position. Deebo Samuel is a risky pick in round 2 as his usage as an RB may not continue like it did in 2021. Cam Akers could prove to be a total bust or a league winner, with experts ALL over the board when ranking him. Lamar Jackson could be the steal of the draft in the 6th round, although he was a shadow of his former self last year, he still is the best RB playing QB in the NFL. Best Pick - Lamar Jackson, 6th Rd - QB BAL - 92%
Worst pick - Deebo Samuel, 2nd Rd - WR SF - 5% |
James had a VERY solid draft. Noting too spectacular but a lot of above average picks. Maybe the best WR duo in the league with the LSU boys reuniting! But drafting WR in both of the first two rounds made him scramble for RBs and it shows. This is the reason that there is a big gap from the top two graded teams and the JuJu Bees.
He's really hoping that James Connor's doesn't regress, Shanahan doesn't just decide to start a different RB each week, and Miles Sanders put more on the board than just 2 fucking TDs. That is too many question marks for my taste. Melvin Gordon was a great get in the 10th rd. If the Javonte Williams truthers are wrong, or if there is an injury James has a wonderful insurance policy. Best Pick - Melvin Gordon, 10th Rd - RB DEN - 88% (+1 vs ECR)
Worst pick - Ja'Marr Chase, 1st Rd - WR CIN - 11% (+1 vs ECR) |
Larry's existence remains up for debate but his draft mediocre draft strategy of 'FUCK IT' is not. Bot drafting has hugely benefited from the switch to Sleeper, as the AI just seems to be ALOT smarter than ESPN earning him above average grades both years.
Mediocre is the best way to describe Larry's draft. Only two picks earning higher than a 70% grade, but only 1 pick lower than 36%. Shamefully this puts him in the fourth position of all drafts this year. This puts him as the number 1 fuck puppet in all of fantasy football. His RBs are solid but his WRs are questionable, but I don't hate the strategy of taking a TON of young WRs to see if one breaks out. Draft Grade :
Best Pick - David Montgomery, RB CHI - 5th Rd, 91% (-3 vs ECR)
Worst pick - Hollywood Brown, WR ARZ - 7th Rd, 18% (-8 vs ECR) |
Donn is about to get married, and I think the thought of his penis trapped in the bird cage that is monogamy had him distracted during the draft. No more wandercock Wednesdays for you Donn!
The Butt Fumbles had some of the strongest picks in the draft, but also had some of the worst in picks of high value. His first two picks didn't exceed a 14% grade, and although I don't like it the numbers loved his pick of Josh Allen in the third and Zeke in the fourth, both earning a grade over 90%! Overall I think average is a good place for Donn, and his roster composition may be better than a few teams above him. Best Pick : Ezekiel Elliott, RB DAL, 4th Rd - 93% (-2 vs ECR)
Worst Pick : Stefon Diggs, WR BUF, 2nd Rd - 6% (+5 vs ECR) |
Our former champ auto-drafted his way into the EXACT same rank as last year, but improved from a 44 to a 46 grade. At least there is something to be said for consistency.
Similar to Donn, he struggled in the first two round in his grading but then rounds 3 - 5 his grades shot up, and then settled back down to average for the rest of the draft. Depth is a concern and with Leonard Fournette doing his best Eddie Lacy impression, and Amari Cooper having a human brisket sandwich throw him the ball for 11 weeks, he might have that depth tested more than last year. That being said Cooper Kuppp was his "worst" pick by the numbers last year so.... Once again Hiller will have to play the trade and free agent market to repeat this season. Hiller's draft was just him re-creating the moment that made him briefly internet famous. YES THIS IS ACTUALLY MY BROTHER. Best Pick : Leonard Fournette, RB TB - 4th Rd, 95% (-12 vs ECR)
Worst Pick : Austin Ekeler, RB LAC - 1st Rd, 7% (0 vs ECR) |
This is where the draft falls off a cliff. After Hiller we can call this the 'Crusty Teenage Boy Sock' Tier of drafts, cause its gross, crusty, and definitely full. His draft had as much creativity as his team name.
Honestly though I am shocked this roster isn't worse than it is. Connor-bot didn't draft an RB until the 5th round and he still turned out a middling RB corps with Josh Jacobs, Damien Harris, and James Robinson. The latter is very contingent on what Etienne does. I know Connor knows his football so leaving the auto-bot to draft Davante Adams in the early second was a mistake. Noone told the bot that Derek Carr will be throwing him the ball this year. Keenan Allen in front of his 1st RB also was rough. Best Pick : Josh Jacobs, RB LV - 5th Rd, 86% (+9 vs ECR)
Worst Pick : Davante Adams, WR LV - 2nd Rd, 5% (+5 vs ECR) |
Holy fuck, I am ashamed and repulsed. We are going to have to dust off Ellie's copy of Fantasy Football for Dummies. Her WR1 isn't the best option on his team, Michael Pittman is her #2, and her #3 might be the WR#3 on TB. Enough said. She drafted 2 TEs, 2 QBs, a K in the 12th, and took risky pick after risky pick. Derek Carr was her best pick, BARF.
The ceiling on all her players caps out at a top 10 finish, and for some much lower than that. If we were taking roster composition into account I have no doubt this was THE worst draft. I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say the parasite that I put inside her has drastically effected her cognitive abilities. Best Pick : Derek Carr, QB LV - 14th Rd, 99% (-26 vs ECR)
Worst Pick : Michael Pittman, WR IND - 4th Rd, 15% (-3 vs ECR) |
Take this with a grain of salt. If this wasn't a pure numbers grading Clayton would rank much higher on the opinion poll. By the numbers he is heavily punished for taking Jonathan Taylor 1st overall, just because PFF has him scoring less in standard than others, but most of us would make that pick. Although this is not the year I'd like to be picking 1st overall. He is also punished for stashing DeAndre Hopkins, which isn't a bad move.
That being said his 2 RBs below Taylor are in committees, and his WR corps might be some of the weakest for the first 6 weeks. His roster really does rely on Taylor to carry him. While I love me some Javonte Williams my sphincter clinches at the thought of Goal Line work going to Gordon. Best Pick : Jalen Hurts, QB PHI - 7th Rd, 90 % (+2 vs ECR)
Worst Pick : Jonathan Taylor, RB IND - 1st Rd, 3% (0 vs ECR) |
There is no Debbie to save Sarah the embarrassment of the worst draft in the DDFL this year. I think it can be summed up best by our exchange during the draft. *Sarah picks Tyreek Hill in the 2nd* Me: "You know he's on the Dolphins right?", Sarah: "What the fuck! No!". I love me some man-cheetah but joining Tua and a more crowded WR corps does not make him a second round pick.
Sarah spent too much time focusing on her niece and finding someone to squirt a baby inside her this year and not enough on football. Her Tinder profile just says "Looking for someone to crop dust mah eggs, must not be relative!" JESUS SARAH GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!!! Best Pick : Dalvin Cook, RB MIN - 1st Rd, 89% (0 vs ECR)
Worst Pick : Tyreek Hill, WR MIA - 2nd Rd, 8% (+8 vs ECR) |